what can I say? I've been boned over most of my whole life... There is always something wrong in my life... always... lately if happens to be female friends mostly. Every girl that I used to text all the time now either hates me or wants nothing to do with me. Even the ones I used to call are the same way. They never call, and when I call them, they don't answer or call back... Part of me wants to go back a year when everything was better, the other part doesn't care about almost anything anymore... Is it that I've been hurt enough that I can't feel it anymore, or what? I've telling some people this and only one has listened but... I'm an asshole... It partly bothers me, but on the other hand, I could care less... Most people boned me over so why care about them?
I think all of this is teaching me about why people do the things they do, and why people get into fights... Most people act fake somehow or another...
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I'm sorry that you're always feeling that way, I know it seems like life sucks and everyone hates you yahta yahta, I went thru that in junior high, I'm pretty sure everyone goes thru it one way or another at some point. You'll get out of it, no one can say how soon or long it'll be before that happens, but you'll get out of it. You're going to RCTC this fall right? Are you transferring later or anything? Maybe it'd help to just get out of town, go somewhere new where there are different people and start anew. High school friends are great but if they cut you down why stay in touch with them? You're graduated, you're done putting up with high school stress and drama and crap, you can leave all these assholes behind and never have to worry about the drama they cause ever again if you choose not to let it bother you anymore. Move beyond these people, get out and meet some new friends that won't judge you. Life is what you make of it, no matter what situation you're in it's YOU that puts it all in perspective. You can sit in a hole of self pity saying life sucks and everything is against you OR you can say to hell with all of that you're going to live life to the fullest and find happiness in every little situation no matter how bad it is. There is always a silver lining to every situation, you just have to choose to see it. If you change your attitute towards life and make a positive to everything that comes your way, make light of every tough situation and quit caring about everything and everyone bringing you down, you'd be surprised how your perspectie of life changes. Don't sit and worry about the bad, instead try to find the good in everything. You'll make it through this, don't give up trying to find happiness, because happiness doesn't always find you, you have to go hunt it down, but when you do it'll all be worth it in the end.
In the immortal words of P. Paul Fenech (The Meteors)
"Do what ya gotta do, fuck 'em anyway"
I say if they don't want you, you don't need them. There will always be someone in the world who thinks you're the cat's fucking pajamas, but sometimes you have to look for 'em a bit.
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