Wednesday, December 12, 2007


hello everybody!
basically, i don't know what to say but i haven't posted in over a month so i thought i would.

well, my fish died today... sadly... now i just have an empty bowl of water in my room.
yep, no one likes me. i have few friends but my friend tend to fight... it's annoying.

basically, when i have a friend thats getting treated like crap, yeah im going to stand up to them even if my friend wont. Good friends do that.

i haven't worked at Galaxy for that last two weeks now... i haven't got any hours! damn it. No hours and im working two jobs. wth!

i guess that's it. no one wants to read it anyways.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Breaking Point

The point of no return...
The point of the end...
The point I am reaching...
The point i avoid...
I cant take the breaking point!

Yeah... I can't stand certain people anymore... I just want it all gone... Everything... I can't seems to get what I want anyways...

I just want it all gone... I want a life where I can be happy... one that I don't have to deal with assholes and contorting pricks...

Maybe I should become one. They always seem like they have the best luck anyways... well stoners and alcoholics seem to have good luck too...

I just don't understand why they do have the best luck...

I wish I could just for once get the think i want the most... will it ever happen thou... no... I'm not that lucky...

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


so, im pretty sure no one likes to talk to me anymore... i guess i don't blame them. im excited thou. i get to go to the FFA National Convention!! I've never been there before. i have a bunch of homework thou... yuck. i miss three days of school thou!!! the play is suppose to be this weekend... i wonder how good it is going to be... not very im guessing. i found two really good local bands too!!! Jamestown Story and Sing It Loud. Sing It Loud opened for Motion City Soundtrack!

anyways... to end this all up... im depressed but excited at the same time... depressed no one likes to talk to me or hang out but excited about FFA!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

start the ranting

so where to start.... well, for one, halo 3 came out! it completely rocks!! yeah. i was at bucks house playing it with him and tommy. i think thats about it for good news though. For all of u that don't know, i really hate being ignoring and not knowing why i am being ignored... I'm really worried about drama too... i feel like everything isn't planed out enough. I'm sure everything will work out though.
What kind of best friend doesnt ever want to talk to you? i just dont get it... i really dont...

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

school sucks...

Yes, back at freaking school, first day. It sucked enormous horse turds... drama isn't going well either... it seems like we should be still in the first week. i just hope we done look really bad at performance... for everyones sake. Everything has changed at school, including stricter rules, movement of teachers, and the lost of Little... I kinda think he got the better end of the stick thou. I'm sure he will find a good job soon. I wish i could help more thou... I'm not the only one to be thinking this either...

Sunday, August 12, 2007

lovely... just lovely.

At least i know someone reads this. thank you. but right now, well, lets just say i feel like... well shit... and a bad streak of luck, again. honestly, i kinda feel like the only people that would miss me from drama would be buck, Nikki, Alisha and mike. i might be missing one or two... i have to come up with a bunch of money too now... i have no clue how even. i haven't got an answer from my interview yet. and some how i don't think I'm going to get it just because of my hours. well... this month has really gone down the shit hole...

Wednesday, August 8, 2007


...Is anyone out there? or should i get rid of an unread blog?

Thursday, August 2, 2007

The old, depressing road....

well, it's on the single road again... i think it's going to be a long ride too. *sigh* depressing...

well, i hope she is happy. Considering partly because it seems like everyone wants her happy even if it hurts others...

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Don't blame troops for war...

You stay up for 16 hours
He stays up for days on end.

You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.

You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.

You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.

You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.

You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.

You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.

Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.

You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his Love's perfume.

You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.

You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.

You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.

You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told even if it puts his life in danger.

You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.

You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Being Helpful. part 2

You know... as bad as I may get treated... and as much as it seems like I stand alone... I don't, nor does anyone else. I mey get treated like crap, but I'm still going to be there when someone calls for help.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Being helpful...

Why is it that whenever I do something for somebody I get treated like SHIT afterwards? Really, I want to know... It seems like everybody does that too... I'm about ready to do stop doing anything for ANYBODY!

This whole thing doesn't apply to one person though... She doesn't have to worry about this.

Friday, June 15, 2007

For Tommy...

Waiting sucks!!! there is a new post for you... and i havent had anything that i wanted to share lately.

Friday, June 1, 2007


I hate making plans... then never work out. Three days until school is over. That is good and bad. Good because then hopeful Kassie won't be as busy and we can do more, but bad because Little needs to find a job. So, I guess we have a fall play now. i wish i was told earlier, because I'm suppose to be AD... looks like it's not going to happen, as of right now anyways...

I wish I was going to the movie tonight...

Sunday, May 13, 2007

outcast of outcasts...

...that is I. I have felt this way for a long time and it comes back every once in a while. the one person that is making me feel the best right now, im not even talking to her, is Kassie. Pretty much everyone has that one friend that they are closest to and that friend is also the closest to the other...

ps. It really sucks when the only thing to do is be online and no one is on to talk to or they dont talk to you.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Luck and Prom

Prom was amazing! pretty much the best weekend of my life... for those of you who know.
Many people got lucky at post prom. i did get some money though, which was nice. I don't care that I didn't a fancy prize though, besides that, I have the best prize of them all...

Sunday, April 29, 2007


I hate the heat, even more when I'm at work and the buttmunch takes that a/c remote.

I had so much fun last night... and I'm so happy. I do have the thank Buck and Nikki one more time though.

Monday, April 23, 2007


well, well, well... who knows what the future holds ;). i can tell you that you have no clue what i would do for you, and i like you more then anyother. but, when people keep telling you to move on and forget about it, you start to beleive them. I♥u...

Sunday, April 15, 2007

The waiting is the hardest part.

start the countdown, it's time to wait.

Saturday, April 14, 2007


so... doesn't seem like many people visit here.. i might delete it, might not. i don't know. anyways...
i like a girl that doesn't want to date... i respect that... but... my timing sucks. something like this happens every time to me, EVERY TIME! the saddest thing about it is that i like her more then any other girl ever. do i wait or do i move on? that is the question.

Friday, March 30, 2007


life= pain?
life= rejection?
life= death?
life= heartbreak?
life= lonliness?

Most of the time i can say that life does not equal those, but everyone of those has been strongly around me lately...
most of the time:

life= friends
life= music
life= love
life= fun

so... where is that most of the time? im not real sure. I do know that this rejection crap needs to go now. There seems to be no way around it but through it.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


1 depressed mood
2 decreased interest or pleasure
3 weight changes
4 sleep disturbances
5 physical agitation
6 fatigue
7 feelings of worthlessness or guilt
8 "brain fog"
9 thoughts of death
you may ask why I'm saying this, but it has a point. why is this week so bad? i think I'm done with trying to find someone; there isn't somebody for everybody. i cant believe that after the most romantic thing i have ever done that the person is acting like she is. oh well...

Monday, March 26, 2007

yay... kinda

yeah... today wasn't to good of a day. i was depressed the whole day... well until i talked to Kassie right before i left... (this is an awesome song, "you are the women i love" from Gentry Bronson.) I get to have a fun week at work after school everyday but Friday. I don't know why i am, but I'm really happy right now and i figured i didn't have anything better to do so id write a post. i know the person i want to see this wont, but if your a bf and u don't treat your girlfriend like she should be treated then stop going out with her. -(they dint have a blog). anyways, that's all i have to say for right now so...

Love y'all,

Saturday, March 3, 2007

lost in translation

I want to make a peom but i just can't think the vest right now so i'll just write.

well.... I love it how I can f' everything up, I'm not sure how I always do it, but I do. yeah, I say one thing, and you take it another way is what most of the time what happens. And I love it how I can wait for two weeks to be at work at one time when only three hours before he changes it. ugg... I'm I suppost to be somewhere? Not one single person is online right now... where is everyone or is it just that i get left out of everything? I dont know...